Questions when you call for help

Can I really call without being judged?

Yes. If you’re looking for someone to lend a confidential, compassionate ear, our advocates are a great option. They’ll listen, withhold judgment and help you begin to address what’s going on in your relationship.

While every contact is specific to the individual, here are some phrases and questions that our advocates use consistently to best help each caller.

“Thank you for reaching out.”

You might feel anxious about making this call, especially if you haven’t reached out for help before. We are completely confidential and anonymous, and our advocates have extensive training in issues related to domestic violence. Reaching out for help is the first step toward improving your situation, whatever that may be, and we are glad to be of service when someone takes this important step.

“Are you in a safe place to talk?”

It’s critical for your safety that you reach out when your partner is not around, whenever that is possible. If your partner does come home or walk in while you’re talking with an advocate, immediately disconnect the call. Because abusive relationships are based on power and control, an abusive partner is likely to react in anger as you take steps to regain control. Another way to stay safe is to remember to delete our number from your phone and clear your internet browser history after visiting our website.

“Why don’t you tell me a little bit about your situation?”

Before an advocate can begin helping you, they need to know your situation. This gives you an opportunity to bring up any concerns you’ve had about your relationship. Sometimes, giving a relationship timeline or explaining a recent altercation with your partner can give the advocate a better idea about what you’ve experienced and offer assistance and resources tailored specifically to your situation.

“What have you considered doing at this point?”

You are the expert of your own situation. Callers reach out at all different times in their relationships, so advocates need to know what steps you’re ready to take before they can help you find resources. While an advocate won’t give explicit advice on what you should do next, you can talk about some options to make the best decision for yourself.

“How are you taking care of yourself?”

Self-care is important at any stage of a relationship. If you are in an abusive relationship, it can be easy to forget about caring for yourself. Taking care of yourself may be as simple as eating a good breakfast to prepare for the day or getting enough sleep at night.

“Let’s talk about some options.”

Whether you are deciding how to communicate better with your partner, planning on leaving the relationship or finding things that you can do to feel safe, there is always more than one right answer and an advocate can help you sort through the options to determine the best one for you.

“Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Maybe over the course of your conversation with an advocate you thought of another question, or maybe you feel more comfortable asking something you were scared to ask before. Advocates are always available to answer your questions about healthy relationships and how to handle an unhealthy or abusive relationship, so don’t hesitate to ask.  If you would like to speak further with someone in person, you may schedule an appointment to meet in our office by calling 952-873-4214.